Michael
Michael. Born in 1983. Gay. Positive since 2017.
Grown up in a little village I`ve been living almost my whole life in and around Göttingen. Many things went fine in my life. School, university, having friends, partnerships. Coming out as gay was not a big thing. My life is colourful and being gay is just one aspect of my personality. I like hiking, love traveling in different ways (from camping to cruising), enjoy stories (books, movies, series), love cooking and eating well, maintaining old and new friendships. Most of all I am a human and always curious to get in contact with others.
Getting my positive HIV test – and everything that happened inside and around me during the month after that – has been the biggest crisis I`ve ever had. So suddenly. So huge. Within seconds. Being HIV positive was like getting new glasses – with which EVERYTHING looked different.
Theoratically I knew things better, but I had so many horrible thoughts and feelings:
„I am getting sick soon – and have to die much too young“
„My friends and my family won`t be able to handle my diagnosis
„I will lose my job and my health insurance“
„I feel ashamed, and I feel guilty and responsible“
„I`ll never have sex again, single forever“
These are only some of my thoughts. Perhaps you know what I felt like?
TODAY i can happily say: these thoughts and feelings are gone. I know much more about HIV – and all the things that (seemingly) come along with it. My fears didn`t become a reality. My life carries on and I can honestly say: better than before! Because I reflected (myself) a lot, because I changed some things and because I am now more aware of what I really want in life. I live, love, work and travel. I feel healthy. I have sex. I take a single tablet a day. I cannot infect others anymore. I have accepted these „new glasses“ – and see so much clearer with them!
When I tested HIV positive I did not know anybody else in my city that was living openly with HIV. I was so happy that I found the BUDDY-project. For me it was a precious thing to be able to talk openly and confidentially about all my questions and all my worries with my BUDDY! I had not to feel alone any longer since we met.
Today I am a BUDDY – and want to invite you: don`t do it alone! Tell me your story, share your fears. Just send me a message – and let`s meet soon to find out together, how your life with HIV can go on in a better way!